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Being a Single Father with Custody

Being a single father with custody of my daughter has not always been easy. One thing that has helped me is God. I know God has always provided and He has always been there for me every step of the way.

Being a single father with custody

Dad Amber (8 Days Old) 1998 - SIngle Father

Dad & Amber (8 Days Old) 1998

I got custody of my daughter when she was 2 1/2 years old, a toddler. I just got married too. When my daughters mom lost custody, I fought and was awarded custody.

I was married for 8 years when my now ex-wife filed for a divorce. My ex-wife was the only mom my daughter knew. She was the step-mom but seemed like her natural mom. I am even sure being a step parent can be very hard work too. (My daughter then around 10 years old). That divorced caused me to be a single father. My ex-wife didn’t adopt my daughter, we actually were working on an adoption. (They still talk on the phone from time to time.)

My daughters biological mom never saw her that whole time and still has yet to see her (at the time of this posting which has been over 16 years). I very rarely ever got child support. If did it was once in a rare blue moon. But, God always provided. It might not have been in my timing or my daughters timing, but God’s time is always just right on time!

Like I mention God always provides. He gives us our daily needs just like when He provided the daily manna for His people in the wilderness. 

Just one income is very hard. Raising a child alone on one income is hard work. It seems today it takes more than two incomes. 

When my daughter was around 12, I temporary lost custody of my daughter, because I was living in the world and cohabiting, I wasn’t in church or active in church at that time.

The woman I was with after awhile didn’t want Amber around. I had to get rid of my paramour the court said and I did. I immediately moved out and broke it off with that woman and within a few months I got custody back of my daughter. The foster parents said they never saw someone get placed back so fast.

My daughter was going to church. The youth group went to a Judgement House. The Holy Spirit found Amber and saved her. I also went to that Judgement House. I was touched and convicted by the Holy Spirit on it and repented of my sinful lifestyle and rededicated my life and got back active in church and now serving in that church as a youth leader, van driver, usher, stage set up special events and where ever else needed.

God knew what He was doing every step of the way. He guided our steps and path too. 

I will say this, It is not normal for a father to raise his children alone as a single father nor a mother to raise her children alone as a single mother, but it is more common today. None the less, we must bring our children up in the way of the Lord. But I know with God, He will see you through. He is the great provider and is with us every step of the way. It is hard for any single parent to raise their child(ren) alone. It seems harder when it’s a dad raising a daughter or a mom raising a son. We are not use to what the opposite sex does growing up fully.

I look at this experience of the world like Moses, before God can use him, he had to bring him to a point to know you have to trust God. I knew when I was in high school I left led to work with the youth. I believe this dessert experience of mine was to build me to who I am today was know what these youth are facing. 

Men or even women reading this! Never let anyone or anything on earth come between your child(ren). It is easy to do and get entangled up in. Sometimes we don’t see the oblivious under our own noses. Make sure you take council from trusted Christian folks. The old saying is hind sight is 20/20.

I encourage you to bring your children up in the way of the Lord too! Make sure they are going to church and that they are active in church too.

Would I start over and do anything different? I could, but it wouldn’t make me or my daughter who we are today. God had a plan and purpose for what we both endured with me raising my daughter and all the trials we have faced. It could be to help each other out. To help others out in the future who are going through something similar that we did. But most of all, it all happened so it can help benefit the Kingdom of God in one way or another.

Just trust God and allow Him to moved and work in your life and the life of your family.

I have shared something with you that not many people know. I feel now that my daughter is an adult child, it is about time to share some of these. This could help someone else out too. God has us go through what we do, often to help others out. Most of the time for us to know our only hope is Him and we must surrender and turn to Him fully. He is the answer!

Trust God! He will provide and guide out steps. Just take the steps of faith and surrender to Him. 

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About

My name is Steve Patterson and I am saved through the blood of Jesus Christ. I have been blogging at Courageous Christian Father since 2012, however, I have been blogging since around 2004. At church I help with the youth, van ministry, ushering or wherever else needed. Currently, I am working on my bachelors of theology. I am a father of an adult child. I work as a graphic designer. I also love listening to nothing but Christian Music. I am an Eagle Scout class of 1994. Once an Eagle, Always an Eagle.

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Comments

  1. Morgan says:

    Awesome post! Love what you have to say about this. Divorce is a hard thing to deal with for everyone, especially when a child is involved. Glad to hear everything worked out for you and your family! Nice work!

    1. Thanks for the comment.

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